There is life after rejection and a path for emotional healing. The pain of rejection is one of the most horrible things a person can deal with. The torment is almost unbearable and impossible to describe.
When I was a little boy, I lived in a home with parents that fought and abused each other continually. One day my only sister, who was four years old, drowned in the canal behind our house. Even though I was only six years old at the time, I distinctly remember my mother’s desperate cries for help when talking to the telephone operator. I remember the paramedic’s frantic efforts to revive my sister without success. The grief in my house was unbelievable. From that day forward the climate in our home was worse than ever. My mother blamed my father, who in turn blamed her for the death of my beautiful sister. Somehow I felt that I, too, was to blame. The pain of that tragic day was too much for them to bear, so my parents separated when I was only nine years old. When my father left I felt abandoned. Why did he leave us? Immediately, I internalized it as my fault. What had I done wrong? That day put a pain of rejection in my heart that affected me for many years. Like many of you I discovered that ‘rejection is hell.’
If you are struggling with rejection, my prayer is that you will experience the same healing, freedom and love of Jesus that I did. He will give you a peace that will not go away.
THE HOUSE THAT REJECTION BUILT
Rejection is one of the most prevalent hindrances of spiritual maturity in the body of Christ today. It is amazing to see how many people respond to life through hurts, wounds, pains, and scars from the past. But there is a way out. There is deliverance and freedom from the pain of rejection. My prayer is that you may be able to understand the root of rejection, and how to achieve this freedom from rejection's intolerable torment.
Through the years I have met thousands that suffered from rejection. It is astounding to see just how many people are affected in some manner by this malady. But what exactly is rejection?
Rejection is the feeling of not being liked, accepted, loved, valued, or received. It is the state of feeling unwanted, unaccepted, or unappreciated. Those with rejection personalities internalize their feelings, which create, over the years, a false personality. This false personality is ‘the house that rejection built.’ These feelings are such things as...
feelings of worthlessness.
wishing you had never been born.
feelings of inferiority.
guilt.
PERSONALITY MALFUNCTION
The ‘rejected’ measure their self-worth based upon acceptance. When not accepted, they devalue their self-worth, which negatively affects their personalities. So then rejection creates a personality malfunction caused by:
hurts
wounds
pain
generational curses
divorce
betrayal
trauma
abandonment
neglect
violated trust
handicaps
abuse.
REJECTION’S CONSTRUCTION MATERIALS
Whether the hurt and pain be real or perceived is irrelevant to those suffering from rejection. The root cause of a rejection personality malfunction is pain. Satan takes advantage of our pain and uses it to launch us into building a house using rejection’s building materials. Typically, a person with rejection’s personality has spent years building a house (personality) made of construction materials that are not from God. Those construction materials are such things as...
a melancholy outlook on life.
fear of people’s opinion of you.
always trying to fit in but never really feeling that you belong.
thinking that good things belong to everyone but you.
seeking the attention and approval of others.
Through prayer and deliverance we can bring about healing, but the false personality that was built by rejection must be torn down bit by bit and rebuilt by submitting and conforming ourselves to the word of God. We must be taught how to separate feelings from truth.
Rejection wants to tell you who you are and give you value and self-esteem through works rather than an identity provided by Christ. Because of a ‘works’ attempt to achieve self-worth, they will either become introverted and do nothing at all, because “after all, what’s the use?” Or, they become extraverted and use work to validate their worth and prove themselves to others. We must learn to identify the stimuli that trigger feelings of rejection, understand the sources of the sensitivity, and submit them to the truth of God’s word.
Read more in my book Life After Rejection: God's path to emotional healing and discover practical biblical truth for overcoming rejection.
© by Jonas Clark
